Abracadame
by BlackWindButterfly
Summary: Arthur Kirkland has decided that it may be time to return home, but he never expected Alfred Jones to invite himself along. With the Kirkland family's magic though, will Alfred end up with more than he bargained for? Human AU. USUK.
1. Chapter 1

**Please note that this is a spin-off from another story. References will be made to that previous story, but it is likely that you can read on without confusion. If you do feel lost, the story this one stems off from is called "Kneeling at Your Feat". Again, while it does not need to be read, it would be appreciated if you would.**

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><p>Setting jars into a wooden crate, the ashen blonde aligned them in rows before stuffing hay from a bail in between to keep them in tact. A bespectacled blonde piled the random machinery parts that lay around into another crate, setting them on cushions of hay that rested in layers like a cake.<p>

"Hey, what's this?" he asked. In his hand he held a pair of modified goggles equipped with five or six different sized magnifying glasses. Each magnifying glass rotated on several hinges so that they could be positioned at several different angles. However, all of the hinges were loose and flew in almost every direction as the goggles were picked up.

"Be careful with that!" their inventor shouted. He smacked his helper upside the head hard enough that it jerked forward. The inventor snatched up his goggles, checking to make sure that no glass had shattered and nothing had become unhinged.

Hand resting against the back of his head where he had been, the younger blonde whined, "Artie, that hurt."

"Oh, phish posh. It isn't like I actually hurt you," Arthur replied. He set his creation into the crate then with a roll of his chartreuse irises.

Overdramatic as usual, Alfred faked a sniffle as he let his hand fall to his side. "Yeah, you did. " Arthur comically raised one of his eyebrows in question. "You hurt my feelings," the traveling entertainer explained.

Arthur scoffed before going back to buzzing around again as he tried to collect the rest of the parts that he would need to take with him back home. He would be returning home to Britannia for a short period of time per his mother's request and a need to leave the castle after all of the recent chaos. Despite that, it did not mean that he would not work on one of his more recent projects while he was there.

Since Arthur had stolen his job, Alfred packed away the rest of the jars that the inventor used for medicinal purposes as he also served as an apothecary of sorts. (His studies made him fairly rounded in all subjects pertaining to science.) It did not take long though for a loud shatter to fill the room as a glass slipped from Alfred's hand. He winced, not daring to look at the Briton who he could guarantee was trying to curse him silently, not that Alfred believed in magic. If anyone could do it though, it would be Arthur.

"Alfred," Arthur growled before promptly glaring.

"Don't worry, I'll clean it up," Alfred volunteered, darting for a broom so that he would avoid the other man's wrath.

There was an inhale as Arthur opened his mouth to continue reprimanding him. Previously narrowed eyes widened as the inhale turned into a gasp. A small powder blue orb of light floated around near Alfred. "No!" Arthur shouted, placing himself between Alfred and the magical being. Alfred frowned, brows knitting together. Think on his feet and not entirely lying anyway, Arthur explained, "You've already done enough. Off with you!" He shoved Alfred toward the door then, the effort taking more than one would believe, not because Alfred was heavy, but was generally much stronger and better grounded then Arthur.

"Alright, alright, I got it," Alfred grumbled as he stumbled forward after a good shove. He opened the door before letting himself out.

Arthur sighed, resting a hand over his chest before he turned around to face the fairy. The sprite had landed on one of the crates, her more human form visible. She bopped her head back and forth, long platinum curls bouncing as if defying gravity. She wore an azure dress that cut with a "v" and had long billowing sleeves. Her wings were the same powder blue as she had been moments before. To top it off, she wore white and blue stockings and pointy shoes. Her ears were even elfishly pointed. All of this was packed into a figure that could sit in the man of science's palm.

"Arthur, I don't know why you were so worried," the fairy told him as he did scoop her up into his palm. She dangled her feet again, swinging them back and forth as she gazed at him with eyes that were also of a blue shade. "It's not like he could see me."

Arthur frowned. "One can never know," he argued.

Able to observe her now that Alfred was out of the room, Arthur could tell that he held the fairy known as Breena. She tended to follow his eldest brother around when they were younger, but now, she only liked to play messenger for him and his family.

"Should I bother to ask why you're here?" the inventor inquired.

Breena bolted up in his hand, grinning like a madwoman who was all too thrilled with the thought. "Ian told me to tell you that you are supposed to get your arse into gear or he'll curse you," she told him with an impish high-pitched snicker.

Arthur jerked his hand closer to himself as if he were trying to rid himself of Breena. The fairy squealed, plummeting down before she remembered that she had wings. The butterfly like appendages flapped to return her to the air again. She dusted herself off with a "hmph". "I already have everything packed. Tell him to sod off."

The fairy rolled her eyes. "You really are gonna get cursed," she muttered. It was not an uncommon thing though. Arthur's older brothers enjoyed cursing him, especially considering he lacked the ability to curse back.

It was true; Arthur Kirkland lacked the ability to do even the smallest of tasks using his magic. He could bewitch a broom to clean for him every now and then and he had enough magic awareness to see creatures like Breena, but other than those tasks and a few small ones like them, he could do nothing. It was one of the many reasons that Arthur had turned to science.

A hand swatted at Breena and she hurriedly darted out of the way so that she would not be hit. She did know that the magic-less wizard would never hurt her though even if she did bother him mercilessly. "Now if you would so kindly, bugger off!" he shouted as he continued to shoo her away.

Avoiding his hand, the fairy weaved out of the room and out the window before disappearing all together. Setting a hand to his temple, Arthur sighed. This was going to be a _long _visit with his relatives.

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><p>Setting a hand to either side of the doorway, Arthur hefted himself up into the carriage. He peeked his head out to the driver with the orders to return to Britannia. The trip would take a little over a week and he would cut through several other kingdoms on his way through. He sat down on one of the seats before stretching out his legs since he was alone. It would be nice to have time to mutely glance out at the country side.<p>

The carriage wheels rolled against the cobblestones as the horse hooves clopped. Both stallions walked at a subdued pace. There was no need to hurry through a city unless someone wanted to risk life and limb, his own or others.

Over the commotion outside that was amplified within the carriage, Arthur swore he heard someone calling out. He drew his brows together before turning his head back and forth between the two windows.

"Wait up!" the person called, jogging as fast as they could after the two horses. He managed to catch hold of one of the frames before bounding up onto the ledge that would let the door swing open.

Startled, Arthur stared at his stowaway with wide eyes. "Alfred?" he breathed, not sure he was seeing the situation correctly. The carriage door opened through a miracle of balance that had no doubt come from great dexterity and perhaps even an immense bout of strength and Alfred fell down in the seat across from Arthur. "Are you insane?" the Briton hissed.

Breathless after his feat, Alfred managed to laugh anyway. It had not been too dangerous since the horses had not even broken into a gallop, but it had still been enough to pump adrenaline through his system. "Dude, that was awesome!" he exclaimed.

"Why are you even here?" Arthur asked, fairly sure that Alfred had proved how unhinged he was with that last comment.

"Well, Mattie and I were suppose to go home, but Mattie decided to stay here for a little while longer," Alfred started. He almost seemed to pout at the fact that his twin did not want to return home with him. "Then I remembered that you were headin' out today too so I figured that I would come along."

Arthur sighed. "And you couldn't have talked to me about this yesterday when I was packing?" he asked.

Alfred slanted his lips, eyes darting to the side. It would have been ideal to ask then, but he had only decided to leave today, which lead to him having asked Matthew last minute, which did not give him much time to decide. Ultimately, Matthew had told him that he would visit their mother soon after he sorted out a few things there. Alfred told Arthur as much and the mage simply shook his head. "I thought you lived in Amerigo? "

"Yeah, but I always end up taking the boats from Britannia to go there," Alfred explained. There were a few different ways to travel there, but most of them ended up with the person on boat. The kingdom that a person departed from could also effect where they would be landing. Britannia's docks were the ones that docked closest to Alfred's home.

"Then why did you bother to travel as far as Österreich?" Arthur asked.

"Because they pay heroes the best," Alfred answered as if it were obvious. Österreich was known to treat its entertainers well though. It may have had something to do with how a great deal of the kingdom enjoyed music and as such enjoyed dancing as well.

The mage rolled his eyes. "I don't see how _you're_ a hero."

Alfred glanced at the window, smiling sadly. "Do you know why Mattie and I took up traveling entertainment? It was to help Ma and everyone else back home. We're not exactly the richest town, but we're all like family and family helps family."

Those words muted Arthur and doused his temper. He had never really thought about Alfred's family. The only reason he knew about Matthew was because they traveled together. He had trouble telling the younger twin from the older twin in the beginning, but had eventually smoothed that out. Otherwise, he knew very little about Alfred, but he was fairly sure Alfred knew little about him. It was a benefit for Arthur though; things were best if he could keep the colonist in the dark.

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><p>Climbing out of the carriage for the last time during their trip, Alfred stretched, grinning as the sun beamed down on them. The heat pleasantly warmed his skin and he inhaled, happy to have fresh air in his lungs. He hopped down then, the bag that he had packed slung carelessly over his shoulder.<p>

Arthur paid the carriage driver before retrieving his own luggage. He tried to stack both crates on top of his trunk before realizing how heavy it was. Stubbornly, he strained himself a few more steps before Alfred walked over, taking the two crates from Arthur. He stuck his bag in the top one with a flawless and toothy grin. "I've got it, Artie."

Huffing, the shorter blonde adjusted the trunk in his arms. "For the last time, my name is Arthur," he grumbled.

"I know," Alfred said over his shoulder. "Artie is your hero name."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Don't you have another word you can abuse?" One would not believe how many times he had heard that word while they chatted amongst themselves. Unable to simply omit the word from Alfred's sentences, he took to counting it. He made it to at least five-hundred and forty-two before he gave up.

"Nope, you can't abuse the word "hero"," the teen replied. "So, Artie, where is your house again?"

While they talked, Alfred had either invited himself to his home or Arthur had been tired enough to agree to him staying for a day or two before he headed out again, either way, Alfred would now be staying with the Kirkland family.

"That way," Arthur told him, nudging his head in the right direction since he could not point without dropping his trunk.

Alfred nodded before strolling off in that direction. They had traveled in and out of the country side and different towns before ending up in the country side once again. There were a few houses within reasonable distance though and one of them had to be that of Arthur's family. "So, how many brothers do you have again?"

"Four. Three of them are older, but they're all equally terrible," Arthur grumbled.

"Aw, c'mon, I bet they're not that bad."

"You'll see…"

The Kirkland family owned at least two acres of land, not to mention, that if one squinted, they could see that there was a lake on the property as well, behind the borders of the house. Part of the land had been dedicated to farming. One could see a tiled field nearby. There was another fenced in field that, instead of being filled with several animals, it held one single wooly sheep. It grazed on the grass contently. The owner of said sheep dozed nearby, sitting below one of the house windows. He snoozed soundly, blonde bangs falling in his eyes. A family resemblance was shown in a pair of thick eyebrows.

As Arthur and Alfred approached, Arthur set down his trunk before venturing toward the front door. He knocked three times before pausing for a second and knocking two more times. Inside the house he heard a few heavy foot falls before the door opened. The door opened and in its place stood a fiery red head who took up a majority of the door way, especially as he leaned in it, arms crossed. He regarded Arthur with a coy smirk and forest green eyes. "Look who came hame cryin' ta mummy," he teased.

Arthur clenched his jaw. He had been hoping that his eldest brother would be the last person to open the door, but it looked as if he could not be that lucky. "Hello Ian," he greeted through clenched teeth.

The conversation was enough to wake up the sleeping shepherd. Using his staff, the blonde propped him up. Aloof eyes focused on Arthur as his lips quirked into a sweet smile. "Nice seein' ya, Artie."

Alfred shifted, not bothered enough at his being ignored to speak. He had to admit though that his arms were growing tired of carrying the crates. It was revealed that he would have to wait longer though as Ian leaned his head back into the house. "Oi, Russ! Come see who's at the door!"

A loud session of shifting footsteps followed as if the person who was answering the call did not pick their foot completely up as they took each step. Another red head, his hair not quite as vibrant as the first, peeked out with the staple green eyes of the Kirkland family. He grinned impishly. "If it ain't wee Artie." His irises shifted before resting on their other guest. "Who be that there tool?"

"Alfred F. Jones," said teen greeted with an award winning grin.

"Jones? Sounds like Artie decided ta bring some colonist rubbish hame, eh boys?" Ian jeered before introducing himself. "'m Ian." It could be said that he was the ring leader of the group, or so Alfred had observed so far.

The blonde Kirkland brother held Alfred in regard for a long period of time. "Do ya think he likes sheep?" he asked no one in particular. His accent differed slightly from the eldest brother.

"'m Russell and that one over there is Gywnn," the younger ginger added as he pointed to the shepherd. He too had his own lilt, this one hinting that while he had been raised in this part of Britannia like the others, but also that he had recently kissed the Blarney stone.

"Where's Peter?" Arthur asked as if waiting for his despair to heighten upon seeing his youngest brother.

"Mum finally got enough money ta send him ta a boardin' school," Ian answered.

"If ya'd write every once 'n' awhile, ya'd know," Russell agreed.

The youngest brother sighed before making for the door despite Ian standing there. As expected though, he stepped aside to let Arthur in, but instantly returned before Alfred had the chance to make it through. "Ye ken, mum is gonna figure it out."

"Figure what out?" Arthur called from inside the house.

"Oh c'mon, why else would you bring him home wi' ye?"

"Huh?" Alfred asked, blinking a few times. He shifted the crates in his hands again before glancing over the three brothers as if searching as to what Ian was hinting at.

Gywnn gave his sheep a gentle pat on the head as she traveled over to him. He cooed to her before adjusting the red bow that he had placed there. "Do ya think he even knows?" he asked, again not really directing the question at anyone.

"Pro'ly not, Gywnnie," Russell replied to this mysterious topic.

"What? What don't I know about Artie?" Alfred asked, knitting his brows together.

"Don't worry aboot it, runt," Ian answered as he stepped out of the doorway. He was well aware that the topics he and the other two were talking about were not related at all.

Alfred stepped through the house then. It was a little rundown, but not too poorly furnished. He walked down a long hallway, passing a kitchen with a singing teakettle and a round table. Luckily, Arthur had seemed to have waited for him so he saw him just before he disappeared into one of four rooms. It was a rather small room with only a wardrobe, a desk, and a bed. While it could be assumed that this was Arthur's room, there was a mess of toys scattered through it.

"I leave for two years and Peter takes over our room," Arthur grumbled as he kicked aside a Jacob's ladder. He motioned for Alfred to set the crates down in the corner after he swept the toys into another.

"Did you two share a bed?" Alfred asked, curious since there was only one currently in the room.

"No, they must have taken it out."

His lips formed an "o" of understanding as he nodded his head. He carefully set the crates down before pulling his sack from out of the top. The ratty bag was then placed on the bed and he soon followed as he flopped down.

"I'll see if I can't get them to bring in my old mattress," Arthur muttered, mostly to himself. The problem would be finding it though, not returning it to the room. He shook his head then before heading out of the room.

Without needing to be asked, Alfred trailed after him, curious about the rest of the house. He took note that one of the other bedrooms had two beds in them. Neither of those beds was made. One of the other bedrooms was in the same state of chaos while the final one, likely their mother's, was in pristine condition.

"Mum wasn't in her room. Did she go to the market?" Arthur asked as he joined his brothers again.

"Yeah, she popped out a bit ago, said about havin' ta get more food for the lot of us," Russell answered. When he said "popped", it sounded as if he meant it literally.

"I don't ken why she went out. We have all the ingredients for haggis," Ian muttered.

At the sound of the sheep made dish, Gywnn's eyes went wide. "You leave Adwin alone, Ian," he growled, usually spacey nature gone as he glared at his older brother.

"Who's Adwin?" Alfred asked.

"Me lassie," Gywnn answered as he stared up at Alfred from his seat. He glanced back at the smirking Ian. "She can graze all she wants. She ain't hurtin' nothin'."

If Gywnn had not used the word graze, Alfred would have been sure that he had been taking about a woman and not a sheep. He really didn't see what the big deal was either. It wasn't like sheep were particularly cuddly or cute or loyal, some of the main qualities one would find in a good pet. Not realizing the situation, he voiced this thought.

Gywnn did not slip immediately into anger as he had before, but his eyes did grow wide again. His lower lip fell to protrude further than his top. "Sheep make great pets…" he argued.

"Not really, they're not even soft," Alfred countered.

"Take it back…"

"Heck no! It's true!"

"Now you've done it." Russell shook his head.

Without warning, Gywnn bolted to a stand before slamming a foot against Alfred's shin. The teen yelped, leg flying up as he held onto it. He hopped around as Gywnn sat back down. "Ye don't insult a Welsh man's sheep," Ian warned, a little too late.

"Don't worry, Gywnn, I still like your sheep," Russell told him. His brother smiled, happy to hear that someone shared his fondness of the creature.

When no one paid him any mind, Alfred soon stopped. He may have whined about it once to Arthur, but the Briton did not seem to care as much. It was all frightfully normal for his family and if Alfred thought that was odd, then if he knew the truth, he would be sure to flee the area.

Once everyone settled with the majority of the Kirklands sitting around accompanied by Alfred, they chat some, a majority of it teasing, which all the siblings participated in no matter who it was, excluding Gywnn and Russell when it came to teasing one or the other.

It was in the midst of all of this that a puff of smoke burst into the room before fanning out. Alfred jumped, but would later claim to having done no such thing. The smoke dissipated to reveal an older woman whose red hair showed heavy signs of grey. She frowned, hearing her sons argue from almost a mile away. Alfred stared at her, glasses slipping down his face. S-she had appeared in the room like magic – no, not like magic, _with magic_.

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><p>Author's Notes:<p>

I bring you the _second_ place winner and actually, that's a lie. This one tied with the GerIta and the SpaMano spin-offs so I decided to write them all up and post them all at once. The winner of my poll was the sequel, but due to the things I have planned to happen in the spin-offs, I can't write the sequel without spoiling theses so, the second place winners are being written first.

I have introduced the Kirkland family. Oh how I love them so much~ Yes, I know that technically, there should be a Northern Ireland, but I only ever go for one Ireland. To be clear, even though I'm fairly sure it is clear as to who is who, Ian is meant to be Scotland, Gywnn is meant to be Wales, and Russell is meant to be Ireland. I also went for the magic route because how can you have an Arthur without magic being referenced somehow. I should probably have flying mint bunny appear sometime too.

I expect this spin-off to be about five short chapters before it is over. Thank you all so much for letting this one come in second. I've been rather eager to run with this idea. Also, thank you for reading. Be sure to stay tuned.


	2. Chapter 2

The younger ginger Kirkland boy waved at their mother in greeting. However, she had locked gazes with a still gaping Alfred. All of her produce dropped out of her arms and to the ground with a thud. One of the ripe red apples rolled away. "Arthur Kirkland," she hissed, snapping her head to him. "Explain… _Now_."

This woman held no relation to Alfred and he lacked any ability (and nearly all thought process) to fault Arthur for scrambling to speak as her tone made the hero shrink in his seat. Arthur stuttered, grasping onto nonsensical phrases to explain. "I-I did… I mean I… H-he, but…" He sighed, regaining what was left of his dignity. "I brought him with me from Österreich. He's headed for Amerigo."

"And you did not bother telling us ahead of time?" Victoria Kirkland growled. She quirked a dense brow and crossed her arms while her foot tapped erratically.

Alfred's visit had not been planned, but Arthur knew his mother would see that as an excuse. He very much wanted to live to see tomorrow. "No, I'm sorry," the scolded child muttered as he hung his head, using his bangs as a veil to hide from her scowl. Ironically, it was the same one that he often threw at others to show his own displeasure.

His brothers broke into snickers before she silenced them as she spun to face them. "You three could have sent me a warning message! Do not think that you will go without punishment. You are all at fault. I thought I raised you better!"

Magic families felt the hatred and distrust of others in nearly every kingdom. The only way for them to live in peace was to survive in the shadows, living as seemingly mundane as they could. However, magic could not be ignored. Madness often consumed those who were born with it if they did not practice. Victoria tried her hardest to shield her family, but word traveled as did the prejudice. She hated the idea of her sons having to experience the agony that their ancestors suffered through.

"So wait… you're all… wizards?" Alfred asked, pausing in between phrases as his brain finally caught up. He settled for the word wizards, unsure what else to call them. Singling out their mother and calling her a "witch" sounded rude anyway.

Victoria grimaced, but nevertheless, nodded. With no point in hiding it now, she swiped a hand languidly upward through the air. Alfred swore he caught sight of a glimmer of a faint green wind dance between her fingers and the open space she had cut through. Jolting again, he watched as the produce abruptly rose into the air before floating back into her arms. She took her leave then, disappearing into the kitchen and turning off the tea kettle.

"Aw of us except Artie," Ian answered. "Lad is lucky he can see fae folk." He sneered.

Arthur scrunched his nose as he inhaled through his mouth, prepared to counter. "That is so cool!" Alfred cut in, cheering. The blonde Briton exhaled, letting his raised finger fall as if he were a balloon growing lack after its air was released.

"And you don't find this at all strange?" he asked, knitting his brows together.

"Naw." Alfred grinned, exposing pearly whites. "Why would I? Like I said, it's pretty sweet. Why do you keep it a secret though?" he asked, under the assumptions that there were no real secrets like that between close friends, or whatever one wanted to consider the two of them.

"It's not exactly somthin' ya would be wantin' to tell the whole world," Russell explained. "People don't really care much for our folk, probably because they can see us so they have no reason to be worried about the fae." He snickered. The reality of it was thought that fae posed no real threat, unless of course a person had a foul temper when it came to practical jokes.

"What exactly are fae?" Alfred asked, brows knitting together. He had heard everyone talk about them, but he had yet to see one.

"Ya can't see them normally," Gywnn corrected. "But if ya want, Russ and I can help ya with that."

The blonde teen nodded then. He wanted to see what exactly these creatures were, that and he really wanted to see more of this magic that the family apparently possessed. Gywnn and Russell both started chanting lightly under their breath. The incantation was composed of a foreign language, likely Latin when one thought back to the inner dealings of the magical realm. Again, the wind like presence that Alfred had seen before seemed to swell in the room. This one seemed to be of two colors, a red and a blue that overlapped in areas to form purple. It looked as if the red emanated from Russell while the blue hovered closer to Gywnn. He saw only glimmers, but he could see that the whirlwind around them expanded before bursting, flying out to cut through the walls as they disappeared. Alfred wondered if Arthur and his family saw that any time someone used magic. It also made him wonder how often these "fae folk" were spotted.

"So, uh… where are they?" Alfred inquired. He glanced around, trying to see if he could spot anything particularly out of the ordinary. Surely that had not all been for show.

"Breena! Why don't you come out to play?" Ian called, cupping his mouth with his hands. The fairy girl usually came when he called.

A powdery blue light darted in through the window. The faint outline of wings could be seen flapping in the same quick motion as a hummingbird. When she finally stopped in front of Ian, Alfred could clearly see the small humanoid creature. Ian pointed a finger at Alfred and she turned in the air, her dress fanning out as she stared at him. "Hey!" she shouted, legs spreading out as if she were excitedly jumping. "You're the boy that I saw with Artie the other day!" Breena stubbornly crossed her arms as she stared at Arthur. "I told you that you didn't have to shoo him out of the room."

"Well, then he didn't actually know about you," Arthur argued, mirroring her as he crossed his arms.

"You're a fae?" Alfred asked, squinting so that he could attempt to perceive her whole image. He reached out as if to touch her and she flew over to rest on his finger.

Breena nodded. "Uh-huh, neat huh?" she teased, grinning wide as she let her feet sway back and forth.

"This is so… awesome!" he agreed, unsure what other word he could use for this. His mother had read him stories about these types of things when he was younger and he absolutely adored them. Keep in mind that these stories often had knights and other sorts of heroes in them though. "So… can I see people like you all the time now?" he asked, unsure as to the extent of the spell.

Gywnn nodded. "Yeah, ya can see us use magic now too," he explained.

Victoria stepped out of the kitchen doorway so that she could finally alert them to dinner being ready. She would have called sooner, but her senses had been going haywire as she felt magic course through her house. It was dangerous for them to use it so openly in front of an ungifted mortal.

Hearing the call for dinner, Alfred's head shot up. He nearly bound toward the kitchen, but withheld himself long enough to set Breena on his shoulder before bolting toward the smell wafting from the kitchen. The poor creature was left clinging to his shirt, not wanting to fall off. As he plopped none too gracefully in his chair, she huffed before flopping down on his shoulder, crossing her legs. "Oh, hello Ms. K!" the fairy called.

"…Hello Breena," Ms. Kirkland replied as she unloaded a darkened meat onto Alfred's plate and then the others. The rest of the family trickled in before sitting down.

Used to the cooking, all of the Kirklands could easily finish their meal despite its toughness. Alfred bared it, not wanting to offend Victoria. While he used little manners while eating, he knew enough courtesies to know that one did not insult a woman and her cooking.

"How exactly did you meet Arthur, Alfred?" Victoria inquired. She was happy to see that her son had made a friend, but, that did not keep her from worrying. He seemed too accepting of this new revelation; then again, maybe he was one of the few mortals who believed, but could not practice. They were far and few between, but they did exist.

"Oh," Alfred started through a mouthful. He finished chewing and swallowing before he continued. "Ya see, my brother and I are traveling entertainers. Artie here was invited to see my act."

"What is it that you do for your… act?"

"I like ta tell jokes, but Mattie, my brother, likes to stick to our fighting routine," he explained. "We mixed that and dancing together. Everyone really loves it."

The witch hummed softly, thinking. She may have heard about the two of them before, but that did not explain how he and Arthur had ended up so close. Anyone could listen to jokes and the teller would not pay them much mind. She supposed that she would eventually surface something if she kept asking questions.

"How did the engagement ball go?"

"The prince ran off mum, I don't think it could'a been that guid," Ian added before being promptly shushed.

"It was magnificent. The prince even played a piece to celebrate the engagement. Although, he was interrupted by one of the knights there. Other than that, it was an enjoyable evening," Arthur explained. He omitted names and the non-important details, limiting it to the small overview that his mother would want to hear.

Alfred grinned. "The dance was a blast. You were really light on your feet too, Artie," he agreed.

The Brit's face flushed, a pastel pink rising to his cheeks. He had wanted to hide that detail from his brothers as he knew he would never hear the end of it. All three of them snickered on cue.

"Ye danced wi' him?" Ian asked. "I bet ye let him lead too." He held his hands up then as if posing to dance before he swayed in his seat. Gywnn and Russell burst into bouts of laughter.

"Oh shut it!" Arthur shouted at him.

The missing detail had been revealed. Victoria had finally figured out where there connection had apparently formed, that dance. Why the two of them had been dancing together was unimportant. Even as Arthur explained, she tuned it out, only watching as he grew redder in the face between Alfred innocently, or perhaps purposely, adding details to the tale while his brother's teased him. She knew what that heat was a result from and it was not pure embarrassment. The color flared brightest when Alfred had mentioned how he walked him back to his room.

* * *

><p>Flopping back on the bed, Alfred slipped his hands behind his head. Arthur plopped down on the edge of the mattress. "Where am I sleeping?" he asked.<p>

"I guess I should go ask about my old mattress. Stay here." Arthur rose again before padding down the hall in his bare feet. He bit back on a yawn, resting a hand against his mouth as he approached Ian. "Where's the extra mattress?"

Ian snorted. "What? Can't sleep wi' ta boy?" he asked.

Flustered by the implication, Arthur's face heated. "Where is it?" he pressed.

"We threw it out awhile ago. Full'a holes. Guess ye have to sleep wi' him now, eh?" Ian teased.

Knowing better than to waste his time, Arthur huffed before turning in an about face to march back off to his room. He sat down on the bed, forcing Alfred to shift over or have an irritated Brit land on his stomach.

Alfred laughed, trying to relieve the tension. "I guess this means no bed for me then…?"

"What? Do you expect me to just say a few magic words and have it appear out of thin air?" Arthur snapped. The colonist frowned and shook his head, muttering a negative. "Good, because I can't! I would likely end up turning you into a mongoose instead."

Knitting his brows together, Alfred's frown deepened. "Is that what this is about?" he asked. "You never did tell me why you don't use magic." He had already tried to persuade Arthur to tell him, but he had snapped at him then too.

"Because I can't," Arthur explained. "I just… I bloody can't." He let his face fall into his hands though before dragging them down to cover his mouth and chin.

Reaching out, Alfred caught hold of the other blonde's arm before tugging on it lightly or at least what he considered to be light. Shouting in surprise, Arthur fell back against him. Alfred grunted with the impact, but kept a hold of the Briton despite his struggles. "Alfred, let-"

"Artie, relax," Alfred ordered. Running one hand through the messy mop of his captive, he smiled fondly. "You don't have to show me anything." While he was rather interested to see what Arthur could do, he knew better than to push him. If the inventor was anything, it was stubborn.

After another huff, Alfred did as he was asked to. He shifted against the arm still wrapped around him before letting himself relax. The hand from before started to comb through his hair again, not stopping until its owner had fallen asleep. Glancing up, Arthur rolled his eyes. Leave it to Alfred to fall asleep. He supposed all of his energy had to eventually be replenished, even if it seemed like it never wavered during the day.

Gnawing at his lip, Arthur debated whether or not he should leave and occupy the couch for the evening. When he decided and began to sit up, the arms around him tightened, removing his choice in the matter. He sighed, staring down at Alfred before resting flat again. The arms adjusted while Alfred rolled over on his side. Arthur flushed as hot breath ran through his hair. He bit at his bottom lip again before leaning enough to press a kiss to the colonist's forehead before he pulled away, cheeks on fire. Alfred mumbled something inaudible in his sleep before smiling. For awhile, Arthur simply stared before finally descending into unconsciousness after him.

* * *

><p>Chartreus eyes fluttered open as the sun rose in the sky. The beams of light seeped through a crack between the curtains to sprawl across the bed. Arthur attempted to shift, but the arms that had moved around his midsection tightened. He groaned inwardly before tugging at a wrist to try and break the grip Alfred had on him. Although, while he did so, he could not help but think that Alfred had incredibly small hands, smaller than he remembered, which was odd considering hands could not logically shrink. His grip on Arthur did not give and the colonist snuggled closer. Arthur tensed as he felt two malleable and plush masses press up against his back. Not thinking much on what would happen, he rolled in Alfred's grip, or at least what he thought had been Alfred's grip. He figured out almost immediately what he now had pressed against his chest as he stared at the well endowed girl that lay in bed with him. Her eyes were closed and a pair of spectacles seemed to be falling off her nose. Golden wheat curls framed her face and cut off at about her shoulders.<p>

The glasses caught his attention though. They were Alfred's all right. There was that same small scratch in the right lens, not to mention that Alfred had fallen asleep with his on last night. Arthur had not even thought of taking them off him. Regardless, that did not explain if the girl in bed with him really was Alfred. She could have been anything or anyone so Arthur tried the only thing he could think of. "Alfred," he hissed.

He tried everything he could think of to wake the girl up, calling the colonist's name the whole time. When the blonde finally did wake, her long lashed sea foam eyes lazily opened. She grinned to expose teeth. "Morning, Artie."

She paused though, frowning at her suddenly blurry vision. Pulling the glasses off, Arthur's figure became clearer in her vision. "No way!" she shouted.

Arthur winced. Yes, it was indeed Alfred laying next to him still. "Alfred…"

"What is it, Artie?" she asked, knitting her brows together. The girl blinked a few times then, curious as to why her voice sounded a little higher than normal. Since her eyes had yet to move and she had not actually moved her head or body to feel the added weight of her hair and chest, making her voice the first thing that she noticed. "Do I sound funny to you?"

"Just… sit up," Arthur told her, not sure how else to explain the sudden gender swap delicately.

Alfred sat up, staring at Arthur as if he had suddenly grown an extra head. Some of the golden curls fell into his – her – face and he – she – tucked them behind her ear. She stared at her hands then, noticing that they two were smaller, more slender. Her eyes fell lower, only to widen. As predicted of any male that would suddenly turn into a female, her hands clasped around her breast. She stared up, mouth agape in horror at Arthur. "What happened to me?" she squeaked.

* * *

><p>Author's Notes:<p>

Well, after tearing this one apart and rewriting it, I'm really happy with what you see here. I always love how childishly excited Alfred can get about things. He's oddly accepting of everything that is remotely mystical, but I suppose that's a good thing for Artie.

It's unbelievably fun to turn Alfred into a girl. Don't ask why, there's just something about it that makes me laugh to myself. The end may have been a little ridiculous, but you can't tell me that Alfred wouldn't grope himself if he had suddenly turned into a girl. We all know that he would. The question now is _why_ is Alfred a girl? And who is responsible?

Thank you for reading. I hope to have the next update out soon, but that all depends on school.


	3. Chapter 3

Like a dog chasing its tail, she spun around, trying to see her body's apparent transformation at every possible angle. Clothes that had once been tailored perfectly slid to hang lose off her frame, exposing more skin and sinfully revealing ivory hips and shoulder. "I'm a-a girl!" Alfred exclaimed in horror. She frowned, stopping in the middle of a spin to face Arthur. A chunk of hair flew into her mouth and she spat it out. She brushed away what was left before continuing, words coming out as a whine. "Artie, what am I gonna do? How did this even happen?"

Arthur slanted his lips. He did his best to train his eyes on her face and not her figure while he thought. The only explanation for all of this had to be magic and knowing his brothers, they were likely the source of the mishap. Regardless, she would have to be returned to the appropriate gender.

"I could _try_ a spell to change you back, but I don't know how well it will work," he offered. While he was not the most talented wizard, he was one of the most stubborn. Requesting his mother's help would be exactly what Ian, Gywnn, and Russell would want.

"Thanks, Artie!" Alfred exclaimed. She leapt forward then, pulling the Brit into an embrace.

Arthur squirmed, pushing gently against her. "I can't cast anything if you're on top of me and for God's sake, pull up you pants!"

She promptly let go, not daring to risk her chance at becoming male again. Alfred tugged at her trousers before spreading her arms out in the air. She closed an eye, waiting for a shocking pain. The blonde girl paused then to let a crack of sea blue peek through. "Is this going to hurt?" she asked.

He dare not answer the question as Arthur did not actually know if he would hurt her or not. There was certainly a risk that he would given the capabilities of his magic. He wished he had enough strength to control it, but he lacked that as well.

Inhaling, Arthur attempted to push away all the horrible possibilities and focus on harnessing enough magic. His body tensed as the magic within him swelled, rising as he muttered an incantation that he had thought up on his own. It was a simple reversal spell. Soon, the magic dispelled, pouring out of his mouth in a sea of green before it dissipated into the air. A wave of heat blasted into Alfred's face before she opened her eyes.

A cloud formed at the top of the room, full, grey, and set to rain, which was far from Arthur's intention. There was a crackling of thunder before it burst. However, instead of drops of water, a round bread like biscuit fell, several of them hitting Alfred on the head. "Ow!" she exclaimed, shielding herself from the barrage.

Low on the ground and face to face with the food though, her curiosity overcame her and she reached out to grab one. She took one bite before immediately spitting it out. "Eeeeewww! What is this thing?" she whined.

Kneeling down, Arthur picked one up before sniffing it. "It's a scone," he told her.

Alfred stared at the scone again before she took another bite, only to cringe and once again spit it out. Overdramatic as she was, she brushed a hand against her tongue. "They only get worse!" she whined.

"They're perfectly fine!" Arthur shouted back. Seconds later, he took one comically to the head.

From the doorway, a loud bout of laughter could be heard. Both Arthur and Alfred turned to look, only to find Ian doubled over on himself, holding his sides as if they may split at any second. "Y-you made it rain mum's scones!" he shouted in between his chuckles.

"Oh shut it!" Arthur barked as the scones continued to fall.

However, Ian's laughter only increased with the crimson coloring in his younger brother's face. "What were ye tryin' ta do? Make the bed? Or was that how ye turned yer poor lad into a lass?" he mocked.

"Enough! I'm not the one who turned him into a woman!"

"Alright, alright, so ye didn't turn him into a lass, but these scones are sure as hell yer work." Ian, who had welcomed himself into the room, rested his elbow on Arthur's head. "I'll reverse it for ye, Artie… if ye'll say please."

Swatting at the arm on his head, Arthur defiantly shook his head. "Never," he hissed.

Ian let his arm fall just in time for Arthur to take another scone to the head. It lay flat there until he bitterly brushed it aside. The scone had flaked and it took another hand to clean that mess. "I hate you," the inept wizard grumbled.

"What was that?" Ian smirked and quirked a brow.

"Please reverse the spell…"

"Aye, since ye asked so nicely~"

Arthur's eyes narrowed and his brother's grin widened for a moment before it faded. Ian began to mutter underneath his breath. Alfred watch in awe as that common wind like presence known as magic filled the room. Unlike Arthur or his mother's green or Gywnn's blue or even Russell's red, Ian's magic glowed a fiery orange. It swirled wildly in a tower to the ceiling. A burst of it shot from Ian to attack the clouds that hovered below the roof. They dissipated, fading into a fog that then evaporated. Ian admired his work before being hit squarely by one last scone.

"I ought a murder ye!" Ian growled.

"Me? I was trying to reverse the mess _you_ caused," Arthur argued.

"I didn't do anything," Ian argued.

Arthur huffed before pointing to Alfred. "Then explain that!"

The ginger frowned and shook his head. "Sorry lad, but it wasn't me. It's much more fun to tease ye when he's normal. Gywnn and Russell know that too."

Knitting his abnormally large brows together, Arthur paused. He had been positive one of his brothers had cast the spell. Peter had not met Alfred, which rolled him out. While he rarely took Ian's word, he also knew that they enjoyed torturing him when his reactions were better.

"Sounds like Breena wanted to get back at ye," Ian proposed. "I'll reverse this one too, _but_ I have one condition."

"No," Arthur shouted immediately. He could only image what Ian had planned.

"Artieeee," Alfred whined. "I don't want to be stuck as a girl. Pleeeease!" Tears beaded all too easily in her eyes.

Arthur sighed. "What's your condition?"

Ian cracked an impish grin. "You have to admit that I'm a great older brother and that I've always been yer favorite."

A small twitch rippled through the left side of Arthur's face. "Turn him back first."

Ian sighed and rolled his eyes. "Aye, cap'n'." Once more, he began to chant a reversal incantation. Wild orange whips flew out from him to wrap around Alfred's limbs. Startled, she stepped back, only to trip as they grabbed her ankles. They swelled, tightening until she felt as though all circulation had been cut off before eventually enveloping her in a wild storm. She stared ahead, catching small blurs of the two Kirklands' figures. Heat came at her in waves and she winced as blasts of it hit her eyes and seemed to sear her skin.

All of it should have forced a transformation. However, as the storm calmed, nothing had changed. She stared down at her hands to see that they were still slight and slender.

Ian gaped. "That should a'-"

"Well, it didn't," Arthur argued. He sneered then. "Which means I no longer have to yield to your conditions."

Alfred stood up and brushed herself off. She adjusted her clothing with a frown. "But I'm still a girl."

"At least you're pretty," an Irish accented voice chimed before laughing.

"You two!" Ian shouted. He reached out to yank Gywnn and Russell out from behind the doorway. They both shouted before squirming. "Did you two do this?" Ian thought they knew better, but he recognized those sorts of jokes. They were up to something and he would hate to be bested by them.

"No," Gywnn mumbled, even though he did wish they had pulled the prank themselves. "We just wanted to show you the note Mum left. She went out again, but she said she won't be back for awhile." He handed over the slip of paper with their mother's loopy cursive on it.

Releasing them both, Ian snatched up the note. His forest green eyes traveled back and forth as he examined it. Once finished, he handed it over to Arthur. "A meeting? With whom?"

"Probably one of the local covens or something, I'm sure. She acts shifty, but we usually know where she's going and why," Ian explained.

"Good thing she isn't here to see this." Russell gestured to Alfred.

"Yes, but how are we supposed to change him back?" Arthur asked.

"Mother Orrla," his brothers answered in unison.

"….Who?" Alfred asked.

Aged and knurled trees reached out to grab and tear at arms and clothing. A breeze ran through as if to escape the forest where the trees seemed to groan and snarl. The Kirkland brothers had previously recited the story of the people who dare call the area home and more importantly Mother Orrla. While many people pictured a much different scenario, not all of what they heard was true when it came to the realm of the fae. Their forests were well kept, but often left alone so it was no surprise that this near living foliage is what they would take as their home.

Arthur lead the way, keeping his eyes peeled for the opening that they needed. The trees should have lead to a crystal clear pond and in front of that pond should have been the fairy ring they were looking for. While they had a strange way of doing it, the trees seemed to bend to help them, but not without gripping them tight first. Alfred yanked her sleeve free of one, tearing the fabric. She winced, hoping that Mrs. Kirkland would not mind too much as she had borrowed the dress from her. When she glanced back ahead of her, she could only faintly see Arthur's outline, which she immediately gave chase to. Without him, she would have no hope of making it back to the house, let alone returning to her proper gender again.

"Artie, wait up!" Alfred called as she jogged after him. Arthur slowed, but did not stop. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the trees uproot itself before shifting to a different position. They had to keep moving, but he could at least slow himself so that she could catch up.

The further they descended into the leafy abyss, the darker it became. It was as if day had never existed and in the distance, there was the sweet tinkling of bell like voices as they sang in a foreign language, one not quite the same as the one the Kirklands used for their spells, but perhaps related to it. While the sound was sweet and enchanting, those singing sounded forlorn for an unknown reason.

"W-what's that sound?" Alfred asked. She hurried her pace so that she was as close as she possibly could be to Arthur without jumping on top of him. In her mind, she silently hoped that it was not ghosts.

"It's the fae. If Gywnn and Russell wouldn't have cast that spell earlier, you wouldn't be able to hear them," Arthur explained.

"Oh…" she muttered. Her nerves settled some, but she kept close to Arthur, waiting for something to jump out and scare her.

"Hey!" a high pitched voice called. Immediately, Alfred screamed. Breena, the blue fairy that she had met the other day, sighed. "It's just me…" she muttered.

Alfred laughed nervously. "Yeah, I knew that…"

"So, what brings you two here?" the blonde fairy laughed, both amused that the boy she had met yesterday was now a girl and that he was a jumpy one at that.

"We're here to talk with Mother Orrla," Arthur told her.

"Good luck with that~" Breena giggled before flying off. Arthur shouted for her to come back, but she ignored him, not even attempting to lead the way or even give them directions.

He grumbled to himself then before continuing on his way. Alfred wondered so close behind him that she was stepping on the back of his shoes. One he took a step and one of them peeled off, the inept wizard spun around. "Alfred!" he barked. He had turned his back to the pond that lay before them having been more focused on not losing his shoes to her steps.

"Sorry," she squeaked as she stepped inside the ring of white mushrooms with him.

All of a sudden there was a huge gust of wind and the voices from before stopped singing. Alfred jumped, shrieked, and then clung to Arthur, head buried against his chest. A pregnant silence followed, but soon enough, tiny lights appeared in various colors. One of them however was much larger than the others. It expanded and then three women stood in its place, or rather, one child, one woman, and one crone. "Who goes there?" all three asked in unison. Their voices could all reasonably belong to one person's life as could their appearances. While the crone had grayed, her eyes were no less youthful than any of the others. Beautiful brown hair trembled down both the girl's and the woman's shoulders and in various strands there were hints of red and gold. Their eyes were all a beautiful and leafy green. Translucent wings were positioned on all of their backs and shades of violet and blue traveled through them like they might a humans veins, but they swirled, suggesting magic, which they were obviously pure beings of.

"Mother Orrla?" Arthur questioned, voice quivering some. If this was the mother of fae, then she was a fearsome creature indeed.

"That is what some call us," the three answered, each of them taking one word in order of age. "Why do you intrude on the realm of the omnipotent fae queen?"

Bowing his head out of respect, Arthur presented his request. "My companion," he paused to nudge his head toward Alfred who had slowly, but surely revealed her face again to stare at Orrla. "Has become the subject of a gender reversal spell which none of my family can reverse. We had hopes that you might be of service to us."

An angry chatter filled the area as the other lights that had yet to take form bobbed up and down. "Silence!" the queen's three forms shouted and her order was followed. She then continued in her usual one word for each image speech. "We can be of no service to you, wizard. The only way that the spell may be reversed is to inquire with its caster."

"Do you know who the caster is?" Arthur asked with a frown.

"We have been sworn to secrecy. We can reveal no more to you."

"Who has sworn you into silence?" If someone had the ability to swear the fae queen into silence, either they possessed powerful magic or had paid a powerful price, provided that they did not do both. Staring at the woman though, he noticed a jagged sliver had been cut into the palm of her hand. Mother Orrla probably favored that form and used it to make a pact with who Arthur assumed was the spell caster. He did not see how anyone gained to see Alfred turned into a woman.

"Enough!" the three bellowed before each had their chance to speak one word at a time. They all sounded impatient with him. "You must leave us, Arthur Kirkland. This mystery is yours to solve and yours alone. "

All of a sudden the air grew hot and a surge of blue and violet shot toward the sky, the ring tracing the circle of the fairy ring before it filled the inside. "Be gone!" the voices shrieked and their words became reality. When the blast of magic had cleared, Arthur and Alfred found themselves in front of the Kirkland home. The wizard happened to be missing his one shoe, but that was not why he heaved a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Alfred," he whispered, turning his head to look over at the gorgeous woman at his side.

She graced him with a sad smile. "It's alright, Artie. We'll figure this out." Alfred broke into a grin then and patted him on the back. She sniffed the air then and her eyes widened with the shout of the word food. Alfred bolted inside.

Arthur nodded his agreement. "I'll make sure of it," he promised to himself. He strolled inside after her and joined the rest of his family for an average Kirkland family meal.

* * *

><p>Author's Notes:<p>

Please forgive me for not having updated this in so long. I've had this chapter in the work for months, but only now figured out how to end it. I also apologize that none of my other stories have been moving along. Busy and no inspiration do not make for good fanfiction writing. I've been doing some oneshots lately though. Honestly though, if you're searching for updates that you won't find here, it may be best to find me on tumblr instead.

Now, my usual ramblings about the story, mostly about the end this time. I do hate to bother you. I think that it may be important to point out why I gave Mother Orrla three forms though. The Goddess, yes the one that the stereotypical "magic" user of today would worship, is said to have three forms: maiden, mother, and crone. For some reason, it seemed fitting to bestow onto this all knowing creature of magic. Also, if you didn't take notice, every since that she says with one word bouncing from form to form will be a multiple of three so the crone is always the last to speak.

As always, thank you for reading and putting up with my lateness. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you.


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